I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.

- Gilda Radner

Gilda Radner was the single best women to ever step foot on an Saturday Night Live set and also a pretty smart lady. Shame she died so young...

...Anyway, I apologize to you one of you (by "one of you", I mean me) who reads this stupid thing for not updating in awhile. I've been kind of busy latley and the state of confusion I'm in right now doesn't help matters much.

Have you ever taken a step forward towards something you've wanted for a long time only to end up confused? The awkward silence, it's the worst part about making your feelings public, I've found. Why is it that you push yourself to get your feelings out there, only to be left more confused after you finally do? Shouldn't things flow like water from there? Shouldn't there be a happy ending?

...See? Unlike last time, I had a reason for using the quote I did.

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

- Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

That quote? It has nothing to do with what happened to me today. I just like making fun of Dan Quayle at any available oppertunity...

Today, I learned why I hate the city of Kent, Ohio. It's never JUST cold or wet here, no...That would be too easy. Instead, we get the aforementioned "gifts" from god, but with a healthy dose of wind thrown on for color.

On the bright side, however, after a nasty two day stretch (quick count: three tests, two papers, one 5 page formal outline), I was able to relax. Rather than do the usual college student thing and find the nearest steel keg, I hopped in my beautfiul 1997 Saturn SL1 (it may not seem like it, but trust me, it's an improvement over my last POS) and headed to visit my sister and her husband in Akron.

My sister and I have always had a close relationship. She's a solid 8 years older than me, but we are pretty much the exact same person. Same hair, same complexion, same small smattering of freckles, same slightly-insane love of Notre Dame Football, etc. That's the one thing I like about going to Kent, it's only a 20 minute drive from my big sis, so I have someone I can talk to that's not too far away.

Anyways, the three of us hit up the local Best Buy in search of my latest musical fascination, Blessid Union of Souls. I know you're (again, by "you", I mean me. I'm probably the only one reading this) thinking "Blessid Union of Souls? Dude, 1996 called...They want their music back." Well I say bollocks to that. Listen to "That's the Girl I've Been Telling You About" and "I Wanna Be There" and I think you'll feel some BUoS love as well...

"I do have a test today, that wasn't bullsh**. It's on European Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So, who gives a crap if they're Socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car."

- Ferris Bueller

I just got back from taking a test in my World Music class. The test? African Tribal Music...

Now you're (by "you" I mean me because I'm probably the only one reading this) probably wondering WHY I am taking a World Music class. The answer? BECAUSE KENT STATE UNIVERSITY IS INSANE!

That's the only possible reason as to why I was forced to take a class on the history of world music when I'm a Journalism Major.

In other news, I'm still a gutless coward afraid to take the next step I've been trying to take since my Junior year in High School. Eventually my admittedly small chance to achieve what I consider to be happiness will be gone and I'll be left a pathetic shell of a man (which I suppose isn't too bad considering all that would do is make me a fully fleged guy.)

Well, at least I know that and as they say; "Knowing is half the battle..."

So this is a blog, eh? I've heard many things about them (some good, some bad), but I've always tended to steer clear of them for a variety of reasons...

Well, here I am now on my own and I'm finding it hard to deal with alot of things in my life now that I don't have anyone to confide in. I figured that since I spend alot of time on a PC of some kind at school, I may as well use it to have a place to vent.

So if you care at all about hearing the ramblings of a college student who's going in 20 different directions without any real destination, stay put. We'll share a laugh, a few stories, some lyrics to truely corny 80s rock songs (Ratt = God), and maybe I'll learn something about myself...