"I'm lying in bed, just like Brian Wilson did..."

- "Brian Wilson" (Barenaked Ladies)

I'd like to start this one out by welcoming the newest member of my family into the world...



Welcome, Liam Michael! As your proud Uncle, it's my job and responsibility to raise you in the way my Uncle raised me. That is, I have to teach you every dirty joke and limmerick that exists in the English language. It's a tradition in my family, and I'll be damned if I let it die with me. Say, have you heard about the man from Nantucket?

Anyway, about my life...Not much has changed. I went through my drawers yesterday to see what it is I even wear anymore, and I've come to the decision that I'm grossly low on T-Shirts anymore. For someone who is as lazy of a dresser as I, this is quite the distressing finding. Do I go to the store to buy some new ones? Do I track down the nearest Thrift Store, post-haste? Do I use the Internet to satisfy my clothing needs? What has Scott Baio done since Charles In Charge? Is Lenny Clark the only person on Earth to actually gain weight while addicted to Cocaine?

You know what I want made of me? I want a collage made of me on some random girl's website with a bunch of pictures of me flexing or without my shirt on or just looking delightfully charming and adorable. That's what I want. Why is it that whenever I look at some girl's blog or profile, I always seem to find some picture of her boyfriend looking all, like above stated, "delightfully charming and adorable?" How do I get me one of those? Heck, you know what, screw the picture...I'll even take some corny poem about how I'm her "#1 Stud"...Or should I say..."NuM3r0 Un0 StUddz0rz!"



Bai bai,
Colin

When I sit and think of the days we shared And the nights you covered for me Every little thing that I ever did You would stand by me...

- "Cure My Tragedy" (Cold)


I've been sitting at this chair for the last two hours trying to think of something to write here, and I've got to be honest...For the most, part I'm drawing blanks. Except for one reaccuring thought that I haven't been able to kick.

Why does Gin taste like a Pine Tree?

I mean...Why do I even know what a Pine Tree tastes like? Wood isn't edible, it doesn't make sense that I would eat it, but when I drink a shot of Gin the first thing I think is..."Holy crap, this really tastes like a Pine Tree." Why is that? It just doesn't add up...It doesn't make sense.
Should I eat some Pine Needles just to...You know...See what's the deal?

What else do I have for you kids? I really don't want to leave you guys with such an intellectually-barren post like that. Wait...Huh? What's that? Uh oh...Oh no...Holy...It's coming...I can feel it...!!!!


IT'S SONG-TIME!!!


"It's a Long Way To Top If You Wanna Be a Flash" (Set to the tune of "A Long Way To The Top" by AC/DC)

Ridin' down Petrarca
Goin' to the dorm
Stopin' in at Rosies
Try to beat the late-night swarm
Hit the REC
Skip a class
Gettin' no sleep
Probably pass out
Gettin' drunk
Gettin' sick
I tell you people it's harder than it looks
It's a long way to the top if you wanna be a Flash
It's a long way to the top if you wanna be a Flash

You think Flashes are ignorant and crass
Try gettin' A's in John Barack's class
It's a long way to the top if you wanna be a Flash

Football team is so bad
Make you wanna cry
Cribbs got busted for the hard sell
You know the reason why
Gettin' blitzed
Gettin' played
Bookstore ripped me off
Can't get laid
Gettin' had
Gettin' took
I'll tell you people, It's harder than it looks 'cause
It's a long way to the top if you wanna be a Flash
It's a long way to the top if you wanna be a Flash

If you wanna be a Buckeye, by all means
You'd be a better fit with those queens
'Cause it's a long way to the top if you wanna be a Flash
It's a long way to the top if you wanna be a Flash
It's a long way to the top if you wanna be a Flash
It's a long way to the top if you wanna be a Flash
It's a long way to the top if you wanna be a Flash

Well it's a long way
It's a long way, you should've told me
It's a long way, such a long way to be a Flash...


...Oh, it's good to be back.


Kwaherini,
Colin