We are the dateless losers!
Lonely until we die!
So unappreciated!
Why, why, why, why?

- "Dateless Losers" (Reel Big Fish)

Wow, it's been a long time since I've written anything here. To the three or four people who bother to read my ramblings...I'm sorry. To the millions of other people who AREN'T reading this...How 'bout them Cowboys?

So, there's been alot of things in my life since the last time I entered something. For one, I had my 19th Birthday on March 12th, so that's cool. I voted for the first time (I'm now officially the ONLY registered Republican in the Mahoning County. You think I'm joking?) I also conducted a kick-ass interview with a really cool guy from of all places...The Catholic Exponent Newspaper. It really gave me alot of great insight into my beloved field of Journalism (Tony Kornheiser, I'm coming for your job, Slick...) That's really the jist of it, I suppose. I lead quite the exciting life...

I do have a question for my loyal masses (again...All three of you.) What do you do when you care about someone, but can't say let it be known? I mean, what do you do when you'd like to just hold someone, but know it's never going to be a possibility? Do you let it go and look elsewhere? I mean, I suppose there's no reason to bother holding a candle for something that is never to be...Oh well, I guess I'm rambling...Again. Sorry about that.

To apologize for my ramblings, I'll show you guys a picture of my favorite girl in the entire world, my niece, Alexis. If you look closely, you'll see that we're both wearing my world famous "Penis Hat" (Long story...Don't ask.)

‘Cause I don’t want to break
Your fine face, I can’t take
The way you wanna wrap me up
Inside your smile

- "Smile" (Weezer)

Thanks to The Exchange, I've finally added the complete catalogue of Weezer CDs to my collection. This is a good thing. Weezer is a good thing. Cherry Cheesecake is a good thing. Cherry Cheesecake clogs your arteries. Weezer doesn't. The worst thing Weezer does is make you want to get a pair of thick black glasses...

So, in other news, I've finally decided to embrace my naturally curly hair. I don't know how well you know me, but this is a serious change in my life. Ever since I decided to take an interest in my hair, I've been on a non-stop "straightening" rampage. You name a hair spray or shampoo that straightens hair...I've tried it. Not anymore, baby. I picked up some curl shampoo and curl spray, and I'm going all-out. Think Ashton Kutcher, but with more of a "flip" at the ends of my hair (and with considerably more intelligence.) I think this could work out, but I have to be careful to balance the line between "good" and "hippie", so we'll see...

Slán go fóill,
Colin

Out on the streets, that's where we'll meet
You make the night, I always cross the line
Tightened our belts, abuse ourselves
Get in our way, we'll put you on your shelf

- "Round and Round" (RATT)

...Remember when I said I'd quote some 80's Hair Metal band lyrics? There's one of them. Never let it be said that I don't follow up on my promices...Except for that one time when I promised my cousin that I'd replace Optimus Prime as the leader of the Autobots. That's probably not going to happen. Unless I get into a terrible accident and have to be put back together with the aid of machinery...But that would just make me The Six Million Dollar Man, which isn't the show I'm aiming for...

...Am I rambling again?

Ummm...So what's up with my life? Surprisingly...Not much. I've been fighting through a nasty head cold for the past few days. It's really affecting me...Now, instead of watching TV and playing NCAA Football at the same time, I only have the energy for one task at a time.

DAMN YOU, HEAD COLD! DAMN YOU TAAAHHHH HELL!!!


...Am I rambling again?


Wantu bikher,
Colin

Dr. Farthing: I can't blame anyone but myself, except maybe the Boston Bruins, Chicago Cubs, and Mr. T.
Mitch: Wait, Mr. T? You bet on the fight in Rocky III? And you bet against Rocky?
Dr. Farthing: Well, hindsight's twenty-twenty.

- Dirty Work

I have a new love.

A love that doesn't ignore me.

A love that doesn't think of me as "Her Best Friend".

A love that didn't "neglect" to tell me that she was in another relationship.



"Who is this wonderful woman?", you may ask...It's not a "Her". It's an "It". It is known simply as: The Exchange.

The Exchange...A truly magical place. A place where the cheap, used CDs flow like the Salmon of Capistrano (Get that reference and I'll give you a cookie.) Just LOOK at the CDs I've picked up since I discovered this magical place...

- Barenaked Ladies "Stunt" ($5.00)
- Creed "Human Clay" ($2.50)
- Smashmouth "Astrolounge" ($2.50)
- Hootie & The Blowfish "Cracked Rear View" ($.50)
- Ace of Base "The Sign" ($1.00)
- RATT "Ratt and Roll" ($1.00)
- Good Charlotte "Young and the Hopeless" ($1.00)
- Our Lady Peace "Clumsy" ($2.50)
- Uncle Kracker "Double-Wide" ($5.00)
- TRUSTcompany "Lonley Position of Neutral" ($2.50)
- Trapt "Trapt" ($1.00)
- Blues Traveler "Four" ($1.00)
- O.A.R. "Wanderer" ($2.50)
- Foo Fighters "There is Nothing Left to Lose" ($5.00)
- Powerman 5000 "Tonight the Stars Revolt" ($2.50)

...How about that haul? Simply amazing, I say. This has made my entire time spent at Kent State University ALMOST worth it. If I hadn't gone here, I would have never known about this magical place.

You know what? I love this place so much that (in an effort to further prove that I have WAY too much time on my hands...) I've decided to write a song about it. Without further ado...Here goes.


Exchange (Set to the tune of "Lola" by The Kinks)

I saw it in a Strip Mall in old Akron
I had a drink in my hand and it tasted like Cherry Cola
C-O-L-A, cola
I walked up to it and I opened the door
I asked the clerk it's name and in a high-pitched voice, he said Exchange
E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E, E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E

Well, I'm not the world's most composed guy
So when I saw all the CDs, I began to cry
Oh my Exchange, E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E, E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E
Well I'm not dumb, but I can't understand
How they can have so many CDs from all those 80s bands
Oh my Exchange, E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E, E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E

Well, I drank my cola and I browsed all night
Underneath fluorescent candlelight
I picked up a Hootie CD and I checked the price to see
".50!" Oh this CD is coming home with me
Well, I might be the world's biggest Foo Fighters fan
So when I saw a F.F. stand, I knew I fell in love with the Exchange
E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E, E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E

I pushed open the glass
And I walked to the case
I grabbed some CDs
I got down on my knees
Then I looked at the clerk and he looked at me

Well, I searched for words that I wanted to say
How do you express pure joy while not sounding gay for my Exchange?
E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E
CDs will be $16 and DVD's $20
It's an expensive, overpriced, rip-off world except for my Exchange
E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E

Well, I left my dorm a couple of hours before
And I'd never bought a Used CD before
And Exchange just smiled and took me by the hand
And said, Dear Colin, I'm gunna make you a fan

When I walked in, I didn't know I found a Gold Mine
But I bought Ace of Base, and "I Saw the Sign"
Thanks to Exchange
E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E
E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E
E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E

...Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all week, be sure to tip your waitress.

Zaijian,
Colin