Cotton candy and rotten mouth,
You know you're so fucked up.
You know I couldn't help but have it for you.
And everybody knows the way I walk,
And knows the way I talk,
And knows the way I feel about you.

It's all a bunch of shit,
And there's nothing to do around here.
It's totally fucked up,
I'm totally fucked up,
Wish you were here.

- "Wish You Were Here" (Ryan Adams)

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So yeah, I'm not among the healthy right now. From the looks of things, though, I'm not alone. I guess the Flu has been going around campus recently, so at the very least...I'm not alone in wallowing in my own "blah"-ness. So, I got that going for me.

It's the crappy kind that sneaks up on you, too. I mean, I was feeling fairly decent last night when I went to bed, but when I woke up today? Whew...Freight Train, baby. Freight Train.

---

Been doing a lot of writing latley. You know the usual...Poems, songs, observations. Typical "I'm bored and stuck in a rut" stuff. It's a lot different than anything I put on here because, as I said a few months back, I made a pledge to not really mention much of my personal PERSONAL life on here anymore. I feel duty-bound to try to entertain you guys a little bit when you click on my blog link, and I'm pretty sure none of you care about how painfully pathetic and miniscule the relationship portion of my life is.

So my thoughts get out in other avenues. I don't know how often you guys try doing stuff like that, but I'd reccomend it. It's kind of cathartic to get some of that junk off of your chest and onto paper. "Rage on the page", I believe it's called. My Creative Writing professor would be proud of me...I think. On the other hand, this is the same lady who basically guarenteed us A's for showing up at class, so I like to think she'd be happy with a big sheet of printer paper that had the phrase "This Space For Rent" on it.

---

Got a new phone a few days ago. Yup, finally traded in the old Kyocera junker for a sleek new Samsung Camera/Video Phone. Gotta say, it's pretty cool. It's all shiney and silvery and...camera-ey. Ended up being $50 after the rebates, which all-in-all is pretty solid, considering the kewl little things it's capable of doing.

For a day or two there, I felt like the B.M.O.C. (*Cough*Big Man On Campus*Cough*) untill, you know...I realized I'm Colin Harris, and I'm about as far from "Big", "Big Man", or "Big Man on Campus" as any human being can possibly be.

...Is "F.B.O.N.A.L.A.A.O.C." (Forgetable, Boring, Ordinary, Average-Looking, Almost-Adult on Campus) too long of an acronym?

Forever in neutral,
Colin

Suddenly, not alone.
Suddenly, I'd like to take you home.
Suddenly, shyness slips.
Suddenly, I'm only seeing lips.
Suddenly, I'm all right.
Suddenly, will only last a night.

- "Suddenly" (Tammany Hall NYC)

I can't keep doing the 7:45 class thing. It's starting to kill me. Sure, if it were one or two days a week, I guess it would be doable...But I'm at it four days a week. It's not like I even have any motivation for going to class, either. I don't know what the hell's going on in either of them. How could I? Everyone who knows me knows that my brain doesn't begin spinning it's wheels until about 10 or so.

My personal hygene has even suffered. These last two days, and don't let this get out too far, I haven't even showered untill I got back from classes. Apparently, those extra ten minutes of sleep are really going to get me that extra "pop" to get through my day.

You know, now that I think about it...I might be the only person who takes a nap right after their alarm goes off. I wake up...Climb down from my loft...Turn the alarm off and re-set it for another ten minutes...Then I crash on my couch untill it goes off. Does that constitute a "nap?" I mean, it seems to have all the signs:

1. Not sleeping in my bed.
2. Set alarm for new time.
   
3. Snooze button isn't involved.
4. It's under 45 minutes, so it's not REM (or "Deep") Sleep.

Feelings on this issue?

---------

I'm starting to come to the conclusion that I am, in-fact, a boring person. I really am. Most of the time, I don't even like reading what I write or thinking about what's in my head. It just kinda bores me. So, as a result, I've come to the conclusion that it's why I've been sans-"signifigant other" most of my life. I think I'm like the"Skippy Peanut Butter" of guys. I'm passable...But in the end, you're gunna want to go for Jiff when you're given the oppertunity.

That might actually be the root of my problems. I'm just not quality enough. I've been taking steps to rectify this, though. To elaborate my point, I've decided to create a Pie Chart. The following is how I plan to ration my time in the future to become "Less boring:"

(Out of a possible 100% of my time)



I think that was a solid use of an hour of my life...


Remember...No one likes a Goth kid,
Colin

"Newman, with his clipped mustache and his whiskey-coated growl and his steely self-assurance, is an aristocrat of sleaze."

- David Ansen

This post is dedicated to those men out there who are capable of growing a mustache. The "Holy Grail" of cool, the "New York Yankees" of awesome, the "Beatles" of fantabulastic...ness.


Behold...The Mega-Stash:



I'll give you some time to take all that magesty in...Just take a deep breath.

...
....
.....
......
.......
......
.....
....
...

Okay, moving on.

You know, I really don't have anything tonight. Thuthfully, I really just wanted to post that picture and admire how amazing it is. Sorry.

Growin' it out,
Colin

"Walk Away"

My mind, fogged over,
That breathless feeling clenches my chest.
The eternal rain begins to pour anew.

Why does this feeling continue to linger?
That room in my heart remains occupied.
Time after time, oppertunities squandered,
Champion of the awkward moment.

Looking at you, I see something else.
A reminder of a confusing time.
Good and bad all at once,
Something I never really had.

It's not your fault,
You hadn't yet walked through that door.
Living your life away from me,
You can't help that you're not someone else.

Can it be that everything comes around?
I need answers for what I've gone through.
Go on, love, take that walk.
Just leave me sitting here.

Later,
Colin