Thursday, March 31, 2005

"If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer."

- George Burns

Today, I was informed that comedian Mitch Hedberg passed away in his hotel room at the young age of 37. The exact cause of death isn't known yet, but it is believed that it was the result of a drug-induced heart attack.

I don't know how many of you guys were aware of Mitch, but he really was one of the brightest lights in a comedic world that is, let's face it, a bit lacking. In a profession where making black jokes and redneck humor is all that seems to go over huge anymore, Mitch was like the stoner version of Steven Wright.

His comedy wasn't high-brow, it wasn't intellectual...It's didn't have to be. No, Mitch made his name by mixing razor-sharp one-liners and dead-pan observational humor with his greasy long hair, dark glasses, and generally dirty "hippy-like" attitude and demeanor. Not everyone loved his act, but to me? I've lost track of how many hours of my life I've spent listening to or watching his material. He had a really special ability to point out the absurd and often subtle oddities in everyday life, and that's just something that isn't seen nearly enough when all you see when you turn on Comedy Central is dick and fart jokes mixed with heavy doses of cheap racial humor.

This couldn't have come at a worse time for Mitch, though, because it really seemed like he was poised to break through to the top of the world of comedy. He's had two albums released by Comedy Central and if you watched the channel for any length of time, I'm sure you saw his special once or twice, but that's not the top. He got his name out there, but his talent deserved such a larger stage.

A stage that HBO was poised to give him as there was a full stand-up special for him in the works. That's one of the biggest things you can do in that profession, folks. Robin Williams, Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, George Carlin, Dave Chappelle, Dennis Miller, they've all done it. They've all made big names for themselves. Mitch was primed to see his comedy get out to the mass public, and now all I can do is imagine what it would have been like.

Mitch, that was one hell of a weak Pre-April Fools joke, man. It really was.

Just Some of my favorite Mitch quotes:

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're relentless."

"I tried walking into a Target, but I missed."

"I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before."

"I would imagine if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy."

"I played golf....I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy and that's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell FORE, but I was too busy mumbling that ain't no way that's gonna hit him."

"I get the Reese's candy bar, if you read it, there's an apostrophe. The candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time your eating a Reese's and some guy named Reese comes up to you and says let me have that. You better give it to him. I'm sorry Reece; I didn't think I would ever run into you."


See ya around,
Colin

Monday, March 14, 2005

Think about the love inside the strength of heart
Think about the heroes saving life in the dark
Climbing higher through the fire, time was running out
Never knowing you weren't going to be coming down alive
But you still came back for me
You were strong and you believed...

- "Believe" (Yellowcard)


Girls that I am friends with (In no particular order):

- Jill Meskiel
- Kim Zerebniak
- Jackie McConaughy
- Melissa Braden
- Kristen Riley
- Heather Eich
- Lesley Katzenmeyer
- Lindsay Sapp
- Sara Macho

I have a lot of guy friends, but I felt the need to list these people because they are the girls in my life that I call friends. These girls have been there to help at times, and I'd like to think I've been there to help them.

If you're not on this list, it's not that I don't like you, it's that I don't want to be "Best Buddies Forever" with you. I don't. Sorry. I'll see you around campus or in the dorm and say hi, and have a conversation with you...But I don't want to be your close friend. If you aren't into me...Leave me alone. I don't appreciate being sandwhiched into your "Friends" list because you think I'm a great guy and want to keep me around for shits and giggles. It's not fair to me. Just let me go back to trying to find someone who hates themself enough to give me a fair shot.

I already have quite a few friends...These girls in particular are people I've known for a long time and we understand eachother to varying degrees. They don't use me or lead me on. They are my friends. If you're a girl and you think I'm nice and would just be "oh so great as a friend" tell me ahead of time. I'm a lonley kid. I am. I latch on to people without much effort. I have a tendency to get emotionally involved with people very easily...It's my weakness. Please don't exploit it even though I'm going to give you every oppertunity to do just that. It's getting harder and harder to recover from every time.

Hittin the ol' dusty trail,
Colin
"...and a fuck you to all those who will never understand"

- Billy Corgan


...I didn't forget about this thing. I'll have something new soon. I've got something I'd REALLY like to rant about.