Robot: Slacker, child, clown...we have no place here among the world's greatest heroes.

The Flash: Say's you! I got a seat at the big conference table...I'm going to paint my logo on it!

- Justice League -

Okay, here's the deal. I've said it in the past, but this time I mean it...I'm completely out of things to talk about. It's the middle of summer, my job is almost over, still another month untill I go back to Kent, don't really hang out with anyone here anymore...I got nothing.

I couldn't, however, just make a post telling you that. There wouldn't be much motivation to come back untill college starts up again, and Lord knows, I love seeing fresh visitors to this site, so I gotta give you some scraps, right? Seeing as how it's late at night and my head's kind of foggy, I decided to capitalize on that situation by doing what I was too lazy to do in High School...Join the speech team.

...Well, sort of. Well I don't be going on-stage and quoting some speech from Anastasia and hooking up with marginally to horrifically un-attractive speech girls, I will be using the Random Prompt Generator to give me some topics to write about off of the top of my head.

That's not all, though. See, I've been listening to a lot of pop radio latley. One of the curses of a job where I drive a lot in a van without a CD player, I suppose. Anyways...It's given me an idea. I believe it's not hard to write a pop song that can sell a million copies. Seriously, not difficult. So, to test my theory, I'm going to take those random prompts and attempt to spin into lyrical gold...fiber-thingies like that girl with the long hair did in that fairy tale. Only with more whiney vocals.

So, without further ado...Let's give the generator a whirl.

"Find something in your bedroom that is well used. Pretend that thing is a jilted lover. Write an imaginary declaration for that thing that would help get its feelings across."

...Yeesh...Okay. Here goes:

"No More Sleeping With You"

Been awhile since you've come my way,
You've moved to Kent,
Our goodtimes spent,
That's why I've got to say
That there ain't no more sleeping with you.

No more sleeping with you.
I sware to you we're through.
You'll never pull down my sheets,
Never fluff my pillows, so soft.
There ain't no more sleeping with you.

Why did you keep me in the dark?
Didn't care about my boxspringed heart.
Thought we could did it all,
Held up mattress big and small,
But there just ain't no more sleeping with you.

No more sleeping with you.
I sware to you we're through.
You'll never pull down my sheets,
Never fluff my pillows, so soft.
There ain't no more sleeping with you.

That's why I'm singin',
There ain't no more sleeping with you.
I sware to you, right here and now, we're through.
You'll never pull down my sheets,
Never fluff my pillows, so soft.
If there's one thing that's true,
It's that there ain't no more sleeping with you.

------------------------------------------

"Write about any signs you made when you were a kid."

"I'm Sorry I Sold Lemonaid Over You"

Baby, I know you're hurting.
I know I broke your heart.
You left me with no choice,
My job or my love.
But now I've got to tell you,
With all my heart, it's true...
I'm so sorry I sold lemonaid over you.

I sold lemonaid over you.
I painted that sign and our love was through.
I chose that delicious drink over everlasting love.
I broke your heart, and it's my fault we're through...
I'm so sorry I sold lemonaid over you.

From the day I saw your smiling face,
Thought nothing could take your place.
But love like ours couldn't last,
Things changed when I took a Country Time glass.
I did what I thought I should,
I went and build that corner stand made of wood,
I'm so sorry I sold lemonaid over you.

I sold lemonaid over you.
I painted that sign and our love was through.
I chose that delicious drink over everlasting love.
I broke your heart, and it's my fault we're through...
I'm so sorry I sold lemonaid over you.

I sold lemonaid over you.
I painted that sign and our love was through.
It's winter and the demand is low,
Baby, I'd give anything to turn back the clock,
The mix is clumped and hard as a rock.
I'm so sorry I sold lemonaid over you.

------------------------------------------

"Write something (real or fictional) that centers around shoes."

"You Run With Me"

Some say that I'm crazy,
People say I lost my mind.
Spending so much on footware,
Just for running outside.
But they don't know the truth,
You're my partner,
You're my friend,
When all else falls apart...
You run with me.

I don't care where we are,
Doesn't matter if it's grass or tar,
As long as you run with me.
I don't care where we are,
Doesn't matter if it's grass or tar,
As long as you run with me.

Every little mile marker I've crossed
I know that you're still on my feet.
Doesn't really matter if we walk or run,
I know that we're meant to be.

I don't care where we are,
Doesn't matter if it's grass or tar,
As long as you run with me.
I don't care where we are,
Doesn't matter if it's grass or tar,
As long as you run with me.

I've worn shoes that couldn't hold my toes,
You're the only pair for me,
And I guess it shows,
When I slip into your soles,
Who made you and where you’re coming from,
I don't care, as long as you run with me.

------------------------------------------

Alright...That's really all I've got. It's 2:23am and I can't believe I just spent that last few hours thinking of that crap. God...I've hit new lows.

Off to drink myself sane again,
Colin

"This is my letter"

You found your path,
I stumbled down mine.
Two friends, gone their seperate route.
The one thing left to do,
Is to write this letter addressed to you.

You haven't left my mind,
What we had was fun,
I simply missed the truth,
Stuck in a daze.
Consider this my confession,
Consider this my letter,
Consider this the end.

To the hopeless dreamers,
To those stuck in the clouds,
To those who couldn't follow through,
This is my letter to you.

What's left ain't that bad,
Don't have any hate for you.
We learned to change,
My thoughts rearranged,
That's why this letter's for you.

To the hopeless dreamers,
To those stuck in the clouds,
To those who couldn't follow through,
This is my letter to you.

"Wait. You guys, I have an awesome idea! We should secretly go around and tell all the students we can to not check any of the mascots on this election sheet, and instead write in 'Giant Douche.'"

- South Park -

Ever since I was a young lad, I've had a fascination with mascots. You know, those big cartoony looking guys in costume at sporting events. To most, Mascots are held in the same esteem as clowns and campus security, but to me? To me, they symbolize all that is right in the world.

Donning fuzzy uniforms and giant sneakers, they are the mascots of professional and college sports. And they can impact a game, not with a buzzer-beating shot or an in the park home run, but with a comical routine or dance. The best can ignite the home crowd while simultaneously agitating the opposing players. They exist to bring nothing but joy and the occasional break-dance with a midget on-top of the opposing team's dugout to curse the opposition with some sort of voodoo jinx. The sight of Billy the Marlin spinning on his head is enough to bring a tear to my eyes.

With that said, here is a list of my Top 5 personal favorite mascots in sports (I know I said I'd talk about my trip to Disney World but just go with it...I had this idea in my head while I was driving home from work today and I had to get it out. Sadly, you are the suckers who have to play the role of the victim. You'll see what I mean later.):

5. Go (Phoenix Suns - NBA)



Gotta show love to the original NBA mascot. Well it may seem rather weak compared to current mascot heavyweights, Go is the hairy gorilla in a Phoenix Suns warmup shirt that revolutionized professional sports mascots. Debuting in 1980, Go shunned the traditional route of comedic dancing and opted for amazing athletic feats. The Suns' gorilla began rappelling from the ceiling and became the first mascot to feature high-flying dunks and trampolines in his act. With a team that includes a mascot coordinator to set up the props and a younger brother named Junior, Go leapt off the trampoline and into the hearts of Phoenix fans.

4. Phillie Phanatic (Philadelphia Phillies - MLB)



A bright green, feathery blob with bushy eyebrows and a big beak, the Phanatic was one of three mascots whose costumes are in the Baseball Hall of Fame, the Phillie Phanatic made a name for himself by storming onto the field on an ATV and mixing it up with the other team's players, sometimes even dancing with them.

3. San Diego Chicken (San Diego Padres - MLB)



The original and still the king of the mountain when it comes to recognizability, the San Diego Chicken is the granddaddy of professional sports mascots. The giant yellow chicken was named by the Sporting News as one of the Top 100 Most Powerful People In Sports For The 20th Century. Not always a famous pro mascot, the Chicken began with a one-week stint handing out Easter eggs at the San Diego Zoo before blossoming into the most recognizable mascot of all time and performing all over the world.

2. Otto the Orange (Syracuse Orangemen - NCAA)



In the late 1970's, Syracuse University discontinued using the Saltine Warrior, a Native American warrior, as their mascot. In the following years proposals and attempts at mascots included Egnaro the Troll, a Superman-like figure, and a man in an orange tuxedo. It wasn't untill 1995 that the university decided to officially go with the gigant orange as a mascot, and boy what a decision it was.

Striking fear into the hearts of Big East rivals and bringing joy to the thousands who pack the Carrior Dome to watch the Orange play and millions around the world, Otto has become one of the pre-eminent mascots in college sports, recently being named to the Capitol One "All-Mascot Team" for the second straight year.

1. Big Red (Western Kentucky Hilltoppers - NCAA)



Here he is, folks. The Rolls Royce of Mascots. The Rolling Stones of Mascots. The Babe Ruth of Mascots. Big Red - Better known by his full name of "Big F'N Red" - the mascot of the small-conference Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. This is the rare case where the Mascot is actually more well-known than the university or team it represents.

Big Red, like Otto the Orange, has been named to the "All-Mascot" team two years running. He's also been in multiple ESPN Sportscenter commercials, helping the nation to realize what a phenom Mr. Red truely is. Big Red may be a shapeless blob, but to fans of the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers this furry mascot couldn't be more inspiring. Embodying the students' intense school pride, Red is a belly-sliding, crowd-surfing daredevil who's not afraid to risk life and limb to get the Hilltopper faithful fired up.

(Thanks to AskMen.com for help with some of the descriptions. If only I had the time to devote to researching THAT much information on mascots. *Sigh*...Maybe one day.)

Okay, now to the REAL reason I made this thread...

One of my goals, if you know me well enough, is to marry a rich woman so I can have a bunch of money I didn't have to work for to spend on weird crap. One of those things is my own personal mascot that looks just like me and who's job it is to get the people around me all pumped up and do funny things to amuse me in my downtime.

Another thing you'd know about me if you knew me well enough is that I have a TON of free-time on my hands. To those of you who don't know me well, I'd like to think that, by reading my blog, you've picked up on the fact that I'm a loser by now. In yet another attempt to prove that point beyond a shadow of a doubt, I'd done the following:

Picture of Me (Looking VERY stoned, but I have a shortage of acceptable pictures of myself, so bear with me):



Picture of what I want my personal Mascot to look like:



That picture would also be applicable if I ever wanted to know what I'd look like as a cartoon. I suppose that could cover it's own post, though. Hmmm...

Keeping it sleezy,
Colin